Elon Musk claims every killed Neuralink monkey was terminally ill anyway

Elon Musk laughing as Neuralink monkeys in an evil, flaming Resident Evil lab

Elon Musk laughing as Neuralink monkeys in an evil, flaming Resident Evil lab

Social media dictator and Tesla ‘founder’ Elon Musk has addressed reports of his brain-chip company Neuralink killing primate test subjects during development. In the words of the Neuralink CEO, they were already approaching death anyways.

In a post on the multi-billionaire’s now-owned social media website Twitter, aka X, Musk claimed that the monkeys killed by Neuralink were chosen because they are all terminally ill.

“No monkey has died as a result of a Neuralink implant,” Musk claimed on Twitter. “First our early implants, to minimize risk to healthy monkeys, we chose terminal moneys (close to death already).”

Elon Musk’s Neuralink has been widely criticised of animal abuse over the past few years. The brain chip company has been under federal investigation for violating the Animal Welfare Act on numerous occasions.

According to the investigation, countless “botched experiments” resulted in unnecessary pain and death of test subjects at the company. In 2022, a total of 1,500 animals had been allegedly killed at the hands of Neuralink, many due to the rapid pace that Musk has demanded of the company’s scientists.

“We are simply not moving fast enough. It is driving me nuts!” Musk wrote in an email to workers after being pitched safer, tried-and-tested safety measures.

Despite the concerns of multiple scientists, Musk is starting human trials of the brain chip technology, a technology far behind contemporary rivals. Following human trials, Musk claims he will get a Neuralink implant himself, despite the fact that the current implant is only designed to help paralysed people communicate with others. Musk isn’t currently paralysed.

Musk claims that, in the future, Neuralink chips will fuse humanity with artificial intelligence, invoking a new age of human evolution through technology. In other news, Tesla self-driving AI still gets confused by the moon, swerves into crowds, and the company is under investigation for continued accidents caused by the unfinished, beta technology.

Musk is also pushing Tesla to work on its humanoid robotics program dubbed Tesla Bot, which the CEO claims will bring humanity into an “age of abundance” where people no longer work, but robots do.

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