This Chinese long-distance kissing machine is creepy and wrong

Long-distance relationships are hard and stressful. Strong emotional bonds leave many craving to hug or kiss their partner at times they can’t, which is what this horrifying, creepy remote kissing machine has been made for.

Made by students at China’s Changzhou Vocational Institute of Mechatronic Technology, this haunting kissing machine has been made to ease the pain of long-distance relationships. It may look weird, but it has at least been designed for good, even if it will absolutely be used in the most perverse ways humanly imaginable.

The remote kissing device is a silicone machine designed like a pair of lips. These faux lips are able to capture the pressure, heat and movement of a user and replicate that back to a recipient. When both are used together, it’s almost like you’re actually kissing your long-distance partner.

Remote kissing only works with the use of a phone app. By pairing the device to your phone, the app allows you to pair your device to another person’s. Just make sure you don’t accidentally add the wrong kisser!

The app currently only supports a single person-to-person relationship. However, there is a “Kiss Square” feature that allows you to match with a random person to kiss. There’s no kissing leaderboards or achievements though, so what is the point?

At the time of writing, the creepy kissing machine costs $81 for a pair. The silicone lips come in twos so that you can send a set to your long distance partner. If you want one, you’ll have to shop through the Chinese online retailers Taobao.

A viral tweet showing off the remote kissing machine has led to some confused reactions from the western world. Some expressed disappointment of the lack of teeth and tongue whereas others expressed caution that the device will not be used for lips, but instead for wieners. And we do not mean hot dogs.

“[This has] convinced me again that having a long distance relationship is pretty bad idea,” said one commenter. “Surely this will be a lot more used in other non officially endorsed ways,” said another.

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“What’s the internal depth of these things asking for a friend,” said a third commenter.

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