Oh God, they’ve butchered Age of Empires and used its skin for mobile slop

The age of empires mobile logo on fire

The age of empires mobile logo on fire

We’ve seen plenty of mobile conversions of RTS games that are truly phenomenal - mostly Feral Interactive’s work on Total War ports for iOS and Android. However, the all-new Age of Empires: Mobile is the complete opposite of that, skinning Microsoft’s awesome RTS icon into clmpleye mobile drivel.

Found on the iOS App Store, the same place you can play a full version of Civilization 6, Age of Empires: Mobile is, well, a mobile game draped in the flesh of Microsoft’s beloved series. Essentially, it’s another Clash of Clans monstrosity, but with actual art direction.

Announced over a year ago with a fancy trailer and no gameplay, fans hoped that Age of Empires: Mobile would be a conversion of the series’ classic gameplay to phones. After all, the stunning Age of Empires: Definitive Edition ports play great on PC and console, a touchscreen version should be easy. Naaah, microtransaction Hell, baybeeee.

In fact, looking at the comments of the game’s announcement trailer, the first comment reads: “Please don’t make another Clash of Clans-like stupid game and give us a true Age of Empires for mobile devices once and for all!” Sorry, Maurofranart, it’s a Clash of Clans game.

In screenshots of the game on the iOS App Store, at least four different types of currency can be seen alongside the traditional Clash of Clans-style map screen. It’s a damn shame, but it’s what most of us expected anyway.

Age of Empires mobile game playing showing four premium currencies next to people fishing and hunting
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Remember: new doesn’t always equal good

There does seem to be at least some attempt to weave in the AoE gameplay loop into the mobile game. For example, you can assign certain historical figures such as Leonidas or Alexander. There also appears to be some combat sections with troop management, but for the most part it’s just Clash of Clans.

At this point, we’d rather play the old Java mobile port of Age of Empires: 2. It was much simpler than the PC (or even PS2) game, but at least it was a version of AoE for phones. Whatever this is isn’t what fans wanted, and it’ll probably fail just like the last money-grubbing AoE mobile game. Sorry, Microsoft.

Age of Empires: Mobile releases on iOS and Android on August 19, 2024.

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